Dear Red Buffalo,
It's been 36 loooooong days since you left us. Just because I haven't written in a while, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I miss you terribly. You are in my thoughts daily. I see your face, I hear your words. I think of our last conversations. I think of how you made me feel.
I realize that nobody ever seemed happier to see me than you did. The way your face lit up and the way you said, "Hey, Baby!" was absolutely priceless. Nobody ever made me feel more loved and special than you did. It's hard knowing that I will never feel that feeling again. I know that it will always be with me, but it's just not the same.
I hope you know how wonderful your Celebration of Life was a few weeks ago. You would have been annoyed with all the fuss and the details, but you would have loved hearing Ann, Ray, Scott & 'your boys' talk and you would've gotten a kick out of John Bryant. A theme that was mentioned over and over again is how you knew what to say and when to reach out to people when they needed it and even when they didn't know they needed it. That was something special about you. You had a good sense for people and for their needs. Another thing that resonated with people who spoke about you was how unpretentious you were and how you demonstrated love and care and faith through your actions. "He wasn't religious, but he loved the Lord."
Daddy, I am forever grateful for the example you set for me. I am a better person because you raised me. I wish that you could've had more success, more money, more comfort, more understanding, more relaxation, more time. I watched over the years as you put 200% into things only to get out a fraction of your investment. I feel like you worked so hard and just busted your butt and never really got the life you deserved. I don't think you saw it that way, but I did and it has always made me sad and mad and resentful.
I think that maybe you didn't know how others really saw you and if they saw your efforts. I know that what others thought didn't matter to you, but it's still nice to be noticed and well...now there's no doubting that they did. You impacted countless lives with your words and actions. Not only did they see, Daddy, but I saw. I saw you. I saw your love, your care, your dedication, your passion, your kindness, your faith. I saw you Daddy. I knew you and I knew your heart and it was precious.
I miss you so very much. I wish there were bigger words than those. Words that could really describe the hole in my heart and in my life now that you are gone. Each day comes is a challenge. Some days I hear your words or think of a moment or something you would say and it makes me smile. Other days I am reminded of something and I become overtaken with sadness and grief.
I wish there was a way to know that you are really okay. I don't know if I really believe in heaven, (or at least the heaven of storybooks) but I want to because I want you to be there enjoying old friends and family and all of your pets that have crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Daddy, if there's a way to let me know you're okay, please do!
I love you always,
Mountain Flower
It's been 36 loooooong days since you left us. Just because I haven't written in a while, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I miss you terribly. You are in my thoughts daily. I see your face, I hear your words. I think of our last conversations. I think of how you made me feel.
I realize that nobody ever seemed happier to see me than you did. The way your face lit up and the way you said, "Hey, Baby!" was absolutely priceless. Nobody ever made me feel more loved and special than you did. It's hard knowing that I will never feel that feeling again. I know that it will always be with me, but it's just not the same.
I hope you know how wonderful your Celebration of Life was a few weeks ago. You would have been annoyed with all the fuss and the details, but you would have loved hearing Ann, Ray, Scott & 'your boys' talk and you would've gotten a kick out of John Bryant. A theme that was mentioned over and over again is how you knew what to say and when to reach out to people when they needed it and even when they didn't know they needed it. That was something special about you. You had a good sense for people and for their needs. Another thing that resonated with people who spoke about you was how unpretentious you were and how you demonstrated love and care and faith through your actions. "He wasn't religious, but he loved the Lord."
Daddy, I am forever grateful for the example you set for me. I am a better person because you raised me. I wish that you could've had more success, more money, more comfort, more understanding, more relaxation, more time. I watched over the years as you put 200% into things only to get out a fraction of your investment. I feel like you worked so hard and just busted your butt and never really got the life you deserved. I don't think you saw it that way, but I did and it has always made me sad and mad and resentful.
I think that maybe you didn't know how others really saw you and if they saw your efforts. I know that what others thought didn't matter to you, but it's still nice to be noticed and well...now there's no doubting that they did. You impacted countless lives with your words and actions. Not only did they see, Daddy, but I saw. I saw you. I saw your love, your care, your dedication, your passion, your kindness, your faith. I saw you Daddy. I knew you and I knew your heart and it was precious.
I miss you so very much. I wish there were bigger words than those. Words that could really describe the hole in my heart and in my life now that you are gone. Each day comes is a challenge. Some days I hear your words or think of a moment or something you would say and it makes me smile. Other days I am reminded of something and I become overtaken with sadness and grief.
I wish there was a way to know that you are really okay. I don't know if I really believe in heaven, (or at least the heaven of storybooks) but I want to because I want you to be there enjoying old friends and family and all of your pets that have crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Daddy, if there's a way to let me know you're okay, please do!
I love you always,
Mountain Flower
